Fifteen days in a row of this fucking rain—right after record-high temperatures. Global warming in rare form. Picking at the scab on her knee cap, waiting anxiously for the obnoxious, persistent beep of the microwave to tell her when dinner was ready, and waiting for the phone to ring. Again.
There it was. Nearly tripping over Minx, she finally came to the sad realization that it was Jonas’ phone.
“Goddamn it!” she barked through clenched teeth. He was just coming out of the shower and heard the commotion of her clumsy feet and the cat’s irritated yelp. “Goddamn what? ” he mocked. She ignored him and slammed the flippity phone. “Fuck off—nothing.”
Jonas found a petite space on the futon that wasn’t covered in her laundry and wedged his lanky self into it, his shorts damp where he hadn’t dried off completely. He waited for her to start the microwave door to bug her again. “You don’t have to be a bitch,” he snorted relieve some phlegm and lit a cigarette.
“You’re not the first person to get dumped, Tadi.”
“I said, shut the fuck up.” She wished he would change the goddamn ringtone on his phone so it didn’t sound so much like hers. She could feel Jonas’ eyes pointed in her direction while she slurped the mess of spicy egg noodles, burning her mouth with very hot water in the process. She just wanted to hurry up and eat and get the hell outta Jonas’ apartment. He thought just cause he let her stay there a few nights a week since her mom was such a freak and spoke in Bible verses that she owed him some kind of great conversation. “You want a cigarette? ” he asked throwing the half-empty soft pack across the room. It landed on the floor next to the spot where Minx was trying desperately to get a pesky fur ball out of her throat. “No-I can’t go home smelling like smoke, you idiot.” Jonas stood up and turned toward the window, stretching his long arms out to his sides. “I’m ecstatic I’m not so emo like SOME people I know—this rain would depress the fuck outta me.” Tadi stood up and dumped the styrofoam container and the silverware she used in the sink and went over to get her clothes off the futon. “I’m outta here,” she muttered, knowing her burnt tongue would feel that contrivance until the next day. “You wanna borrow an umbrella? ” he asked with some hint of concern for her trip home. “No,” she stubbornly refused even though she’d have to take dry clothes 5 blocks to her apartment building.
Jonas went over to the kitchen and pulled out a black garbage bag from the pantry. “Well, here, then.” Tadi snatched the bag from him and stuffed the clothes she’d worn the past two days into it and almost tripped over the fucking cat again on the way out the door. She was halfway to the elevator hall when she heard Jonas’ voice again. “You forgot your blankie!” She ignored him and got on the car, avoiding eye contact as the doors shut.
The street was busy for a rainy, Sunday night. Horns, screeching tires and her footsteps on the pavement all just white noise. Trying to avoid 56th street and the assholes hanging on the curb at the corner store, Tadi took a shortcut through the alleyway behind Geter’s Grocery and tried to move as quick as she could. She knew this alley but level-headed knew better than to linger at night. She got almost to the end of it and was about to turn onto Hamilton Avenue when she heard a bloodcurdling scream. She sped up her pace to create those last few steps and was blindsided by some jerk jetting the other direction. It felt like when she got tackled playing street football with the neighborhood boys when she was 12-almost knocked the fucking wind out of her. She’d dropped her bag chubby of clothes and fell on her knee. That damned scab opened right back up.
He’d already disappeared around the corner by the time she had picked her stuff back up. It made her wish she’d let Troy give her that .45 he insisted she have. Then she felt like a dumbass for even thinking about him again. If he didn’t wanna call, he didn’t have to fucking call. When she looked ahead of her in the direction she needed to go, she saw who must have let out that awful scream. The rain had finally let up a puny bit so she could inspect clearly. The lady was staggering, but quickly and wasn’t standing up straight. Tadi got a little closer to her, but cautiously moved a little closer toward the street before she addressed her.
“Excuse me—are you—”
The woman turned around and was pale, her dark, straight hair soaked from the rain and was sticking to her face. Tadi could only tell she was crying because she was sobbing—the tears mixed in with the rain on her skin. Then when Tadi’s eyes moved down toward where the woman was holding her stomach, she saw that her yellow shirt was soaked red. “H-help me—Ta—di,” she winced, reaching with a bloody hand for Tadi. She stumbled backwards and, even though she knew the guy that just knocked her down had done this and honest faded into nowhere, she looked benefit at the other end of Hamilton Ave. “I’ll call somebody,” Tadi said, hurrying off toward her house. She turned around when she got to her stoop and the lady had stopped walking to lean on a concrete wall. She could see her heaving but couldn’t see her face anymore. She fumbled with her phone once she got it out of her jacket pocket and dialed 911. She charged up the three flights of stairs to her mom’s apartment, and finally an operator picked up. She managed to make it past her mother’s, “Where has my child been? The Lord is working and you’re out in the streets at night…” coming from the dark living room, only lit by the TV playing some televangelist’s broadcast.
“911-this is operator 88329. What’s your emergency? “
“There’s a woman-she’s bleeding. She’s out on the street.”
“Where is the woman, ma’am? “
“On Hamilton Ave.—two blocks between 56th and 59th.”
“Can you tell what’s wrong with her? Was she able to speak? Did she tell you her name? “
“No, no-just get somebody over there, please.”
Tadi hung up the phone and laid across her bed, her heart pounding. It didn’t register in her brain until what felt like many minutes later when she heard the ambulance siren. How the hell did that woman know her name??
Her mom was knocking on her door. “Young lady, originate the door. I need to speak to you.”
“Not now, mom,” Tadi rebelliously denied her entry. She reached across the small, rectangular room from her bed to get her laptop off her desk. The wireless wasn’t working. Shit. She needed to do something to distract her. She picked up the cell phone again, but was startled that it rang in her hand and dropped it on the floor. “Who’s calling you this time of night? ” Her mother heard the ring and was back at the door-or had never left. She ignored her and answered it, even though it was from an unknown number. “Yeah? ” she answered in almost a whisper in case her mother had put her little eavesdropping ear against her door. “Who’s this? ” It was a man’s explain.
“Who’s this? How’d you accumulate this number? ” “You called 9-1-1 from it. What’s your name, sweetheart? ” Fuck, she conception. Now she was gonna have to be involved this crap. “Tadi Bingham.”
“Well, thank you for calling, Ms. Bingham. You might have saved a woman’s life. She’s on her method to Paulding General as we speak. Can I ask you a few questions? “
“You can start by telling me YOUR name now,” Tadi insisted. “Oh, I’m sorry, slight lady. I’m Detective Shepherd, NYPD. Is there some status I can meet you tonight? “
“It’s after midnight-I can’t leave again or my mom will get in my ass.”
“Oh, I see-you’re under 18? Well, I’ll need her consent anyway before we can talk. Is she—”
“No, you don’t need her consent. I’m 19. I objective live with her-she’s kinda—overprotective.” He chuckled and then continued. “Okay-I come by it. Well, do you know where the precinct is? Can you come down tomorrow morning? ” Tadi sighed, wishing she hadn’t made the fucking call and just hoped some other fool would have gotten involved. She set the terror for 8:30 to make clear she was showered and out of the house before her mom got up for her morning devotion. She wasn’t working because of an accident she had at work that qualified her for disability checks for the rest of her Jesus-loving life. Tadi doubted it was a legitimate claim, but didn’t dare spend more than 10 minutes talking to her mother about it because she would always inaugurate giving a testimonial about how God had ‘fixed’ it so that they wouldn’t have to suffer or be hungry—even with Tadi’s bastard father not being around. Well, she didn’t dare use the word bastard-that was Tadi’s definition of the man who contributed to her birth. He definite as hell didn’t deserve to be called a father.
She took two buses to procure to the precinct. Thankfully it wasn’t raining yet, but she was sure it would by the time she got out of there. Walking into the hollow building sitting on the corner of the block next to an gutted space that used to be a law firm, Tadi couldn’t help feeling she wasn’t going to leave the same. She’d watched plenty of TV shows about police investigations and because of her own run-ins with the law, she didn’t feel particularly comfortable as a witness to anything. They’d probably already pulled up her rap sheet so they could bully her into doing something or saying something. She wondered why the fuck she’d even come.
“Ms. Bingham? ” she heard from across the room. Am I wearing a fucking sign? she thought to herself then saw a tall, sandy-haired man walking wide-legged toward her. He was wearing brown, polyester pants with a tight, white button down shirt strangely not popping open on account of a swollen gut the size of a beach ball. She almost laughed, but then decided not to when she noticed his holster snugly keen a handgun. She managed a untrue smile and he put one hand on her back to slightly steer her toward a desk in the middle of a sea of others scattered with coffee-stained papers. “Have a seat,” he gestured toward a leather and metal military-issue chair diagonal to where he plopped down on a chair that was far too close to the ground for him. His knees almost cleared the surface of the desk. “I’m glad you were able to make it in. I appreciate you agreeing to come.” Tadi pulled her messenger bag closer to her chest as it rested on her lap. Her wet socks squished inside her black Converse sneakers as she readjusted herself. She’d misjudged a couple of puddles trying to hop over them on the way in from the last bus stop. “I’ll just get right to it. The lady that you helped last night—” Tadi looked away from him and then wait on, not really wanting to hear what he had to say. But what he said was crazy. “She didn’t have any ID, and she kept saying her name was Shiva or Sheba-something like that. Anyway, she wouldn’t remark us whether or not she knew who stabbed her.” There weren’t many things that shocked her anymore, but Tadi was a little worried, but mostly intrigued. “Stabbed? ” she said, letting him know that despite her wandering eyes, she was paying attention. “Yes-and she said she couldn’t give a description, but I’m sure you’ve probably seen enough episodes of Law and Order or Cops to know that—it’s unbiased not likely that you could get stabbed in the stomach and not see who it was. That’s face-to-face confrontation, ya know what I mean? ” Tadi felt like his candor was a little unprofessional-since he wasn’t talking to another cop. “So what does all this have to do with me? ” she asked, wanting to leave now. “Well, Ms. Bingham, I just wanna know what you saw-if anything.”
“I didn’t gaze anything. I saw her walking and she asked me to—help—her.” He leaned relieve in his chair and looked confused. “She asked you to aid her? Well, she didn’t mention that she saw anyone.” Tadi began to feel restless. Why wouldn’t this lady tell them that she was there? It wasn’t making any sense. “So you’re saying you saw her and called 9-1-1 from the scene? “
“No, I was in my room. I saw her on the way up.”
“So you live near where we found this woman? “
“Yeah.” Tadi hadn’t planned to give this guy details, but it was already going awry. He pulled a pen out of an ink-stained shirt pocket and began to write on a legal pad on the desk. “So, can you tell me about what time it was? When you first saw Ms. Shiva or Sheba? ” Tadi pulled out her phone. Might as well hiss them as considerable as possible, she thought, so they’d leave her the hell alone after this. She pulled up her call history-she was distracted by the last call. It’d advance from Troy. Snapping support to the present, she told Detective Shepherd that she left her friend’s house around 11:00 pm, ran into this lady stumbling by about 11:20 and then dialed 9-1-1 by 11:50. “Okay, lemme earn sure I got this—” he started, then rephrased what she’d just told him. “Yeah, that’s right,” Tadi confirmed, audibly frustrated. “Okay-I won’t keep you, Ms. Bingham. You’re free to go.” She stood up and turned to make her device through the maze of desks.
“Uh, Ms. Bingham, wait-take this,” Detective Shepherd called out. Tadi didn’t discontinuance walking right away, but he was right at her heels before she could turn around. “Take my card-you call me if you hear, see, smell anything you think might abet us. Will you do that? ” She took the card and stuffed it into a flimsy pocket in her jacket. She didn’t end any breath on a farewell. Knowing she couldn’t have told him that this stranger knew her name would have sparked a whole slew of modern questions, Tadi kept that part to herself. Anyway, it wouldn’t produce any difference—they probably wouldn’t catch the dickhead that did this anyway.
She got back on the 16 bus towards Jonas’. He was an asshole, but he was a pushover who let her come and go as she pleased. He was probably late for work at Vintage Vinyl again and she wanted that cigarette now. She banged a few times but he didn’t answer-his buzzer didn’t work and he wouldn’t call the landlord to fix the shit. She could hear Minx mewing and then saw the shadows of her little furry paws pass by.
“Jonas! Launch the door!” Still nothing. He had to be there cause Minx was out—his cheap ass didn’t pay the pet deposit so he achieve his pet in a crate while he was at work or out doing other dumb shit. “Jonas,” she said as a reprimand, with a lowered voice as if he could hear her. She pulled out her phone and sped-dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail. “You don’t have to act like an ass—I was a bitch last night. I GET it—you can let me in now.” Getting the hint that she was not going to be let in, Tadi went down the hall to Chain’s apartment to see if he’d seen Jonas. “Naw, haven’t even seen his ass since last week and we live on the same fuckin’ hall,” was the response she got from Jonas’ bandmate and childhood friend who came to the door wreaking of whiskey and peering out of heavy-lidded, bloodshot eyes. Uncommon, Tadi thought as she walked support toward Jonas’ apartment. Minx was fair sitting at the crack now, not moving at all. Maybe he got out of the crate, she thought and decided to stop by the record store instead.
“He’s not here yet-and he hasn’t called in.” The chick behind the counter didn’t look up from whatever magazine she was looking at when she responded. Tadi wasn’t about to ask the asshole at the back of the store—she was going out with Yonni for all of 2 weeks when he asked her to fuck him and some guy she didn’t even know. He suspected her, but he couldn’t explain that she was the bitch that slashed the front tire of his bike. “Go sit on a pole, you slut,” he shouted when he noticed her. “Why don’t you go fuck your dog, you fuckin piece of shit!” Tadi made sure she made eye contact with him when she said it and then tore out of the shop, pissed off, toward the train.
Her phone rang after she’d gotten on. The caller ID was scrambled since her phone was a piece of crap-she’d dropped it or thrown it so many times it didn’t work right anymore. “Hello? ” she answered. “Ta-Tadi? ” A passe voice came through the receiver-she couldn’t be sure immediately but then it finally sounded like Jonas. But it sounded like he had been crying or something. “Jonas? Where the fuck are you? I just went to your apartment, I went to your fucking job—you owe me train fare. And your goddamn cat got out.”
“Tadi, where are you? ” he said, still sounding weak and pitiful. It was just pissing Tadi off even more.
“What? I just TOLD you where I am, asshole! I’m on the fucking train—”
“You have to call the pol-police,” he said. She put her tirade on pause to make sure she heard that right.
“What? Did you say call the police? Why do you sound like that? ” There was a loud static. The verbalize was going through a tunnel. “Jonas? Jonas!” Finally, clearing the tunnel, the static was gone but the call had dropped. Fuck. What the hell now? She got off the train 2 stops before the station at 48th street and walked the rest of the way. She felt a light rain start to fall. Speeding past her sedentary, sectarian-prone mother on the couch, Tadi took refuge in her room again and immediately tried dialing Jonas’ number. It had been about 25 minutes since that called dropped and she was still just getting his goddamned voicemail.
“Shit!” escaped from her lips before she could own it. “Tadi! Young lady, there will be no vile language in this house! I pray that you shall speak only pure words-like that of our Savior!” She redialed the number, trying to tune out the voice in the other room. He still wasn’t picking up. Maybe it was a prank, she opinion. “That bastard Yonni may have done this to fuck with me,” Tadi said out loud to no one but herself. She had to glean out of the house. Tadi changed into some dry socks and boots and put on some jeans. She brushed her frizzy, charcoal locks under a crocheted tam and took a deep breath to brace herself before she walked past her mother a second time. Luckily, Mrs. Bingham had gone to the bathroom so didn’t ogle her daughter escape.
Tadi got to the corner of Hamilton and the rain was still just teasing so she decided to try to make it to Geter’s Grocery before it really started coming down and just buy an umbrella. She thought she remembered she had at least 10 bucks in her wallet even though she’d gotten fired last week from the café.
“Hello, Ms. Tadi,” she heard from the counter. “Hey, Geter,” she responded to the Hindi owner she’d been acquainted with since she was a kid. He veteran to let her gather away with stealing for her friends until she got feeble enough and started letting them lift his shit, too. Somehow he had no hard feelings, though. She still shopped there and he collected greeted her profitable each and every time she walked through the door. Dumping a compact, blue umbrella and a pack of gum on the counter, Tadi asked for a pack of cigarettes and went benefit down an aisle to acquire something to snack on. The middle-aged man shouted from the booth encased in bullet-proof glass and shouted out at her, “You shouldn’t smoke, mydear. You know it’s bad for you.”
“Yeah, all smokers know smoking’s unpleasant for ‘em. It’s even printed on the box,” she said sarcastically, rustling through the display of sweets and chips. “Some of us are in a different kind of danger,” came a voice from slow Tadi. She turned and saw an old woman, wrinkles deeper than any she’d ever seen, standing too close to her personal space. “Excuse me? ” The woman didn’t say anything back, but just stood in the same residence. Tadi left the aisle and went to the counter to pay for her things. When she turned back to see if the weird little woman had followed her, she was gone. She walked down to contemplate at the three, narrow aisles of merchandise in the tiny little space, but didn’t see anyone. Tadi asked Geter if he’d seen the woman and he said no. Bewildered but trying to shrug it off, Tadi went down the sidewalk a few feet and then heard that same voice again that had startled her inside the store. “I’m not a figment of your imagination, my dear.” Tadi looked around and sitting on a stoop in front of a brownstone was the same chick. She was wearing a plain, gray pea coat and black slacks and her head was bowed so her silky, white hair was covering the side of her face. The sprinkling rain had stopped. “There’s no way you’d know…know what’s going on around you. So I’m here to help,” Tadi walked closer to her. She was holding something tight in her right hand-so tight her knuckles were white. “Excuse me, but I’m not new around here, and I don’t really do well with you freaks, so you might wanna—leave me alone.” She figured her wise-ass remarks would drive this weirdo away and she could go on with her life and try to figure out where the hell Jonas was. “Your friend is NOT safe, if that’s what you’re wondering,” the woman said. She still didn’t lift her head when she spoke. “What? What are you talking about? ” Tadi asked, her words teeming with irritation and disbelief. It was if her mind had been read. The stranger stood and started toward Tadi. She stopped within inches of her body. Tadi lost her footing and stumbled off the curb into the street when she saw the woman’s face again. Her had no pupils—her eyes were like vast pearls. “Your friend is in danger. You made contact with your webber. That’s not supposed to happen.” Tadi moved backwards further into the street, causing a car to swerve around her. “First of all, you are Design too end to me. And second of all, what the FUCK are you talking about? How do you know about my friend? Unless you have something to do with—”
“Your temper will not serve you well, Tadi. You’ll need to learn to control that if you’re to be helped.”
Tadi started walking away from the woman but was stopped by her next words. “You can’t ignore it any longer. It’s in the cards-you’ve been chosen.” She made an about-face and went back to where the itsy-bitsy old lady was standing. “Okay, lady. If you tell me what insane asylum you escaped from, I’ll call you a cab so you can go back.” The woman was still gripping whatever was in her hand and held it out toward Tadi.
“Time is running out. You’ll need to select this.” Tadi’s human reflex to take what was being handed to her made her hold out her hand and the woman dropped something into it. When Tadi raised her head again, a gust of wind with hurricane-strength knocked her on her ass and the woman was gone.
When she looked at her hand, there was a slight, rusty iron key in it.
Halfway to the bus stop, Tadi still had the ‘gift’ she’d been given in her hand. She would have thrown it away or dropped it down in a storm drain by now, but something was compelling her to hold on to it—she didn’t know what. She reached into the side pocket of her bag to pull out her bus pass but it wasn’t there.
“Shit,” she grumbled, and sat back down on the bench underneath the shelter and had to discover the bus load up the other passengers who were waiting and drive away. It’d be another 35 minutes before the next one. She stood and started to walk toward the next bus stop-it would go a slightly different route, but might come a little sooner than the 32. She sat down at the bench at this halt and, careful to be obvious no one was near enough to her to see, she opened her hand again. The key was still there, still freaking her out. She didn’t know what to make of it or the phantom woman who’d disappeared as quickly as she’d appeared. She felt like she was on some paranormal candid camera present or something-only no one had revealed any prank yet. She thought about what the woman had said, and the memory of her eyes was terrifying. What kind of danger was she in? What kind of danger was Jonas in? Did it have something to do with the woman that had gotten stabbed? She suddenly realized she didn’t even have a destination in mind and started walking benefit towards home. Again, her mother wasn’t in the living room to nag her on the way in. This time she was out on the balcony humming some hymn or something and watering her itsy-bitsy plants. Tadi dropped her bag in the middle of her bedroom floor and retreated into the bathroom to shower. The warm water felt so good to her skin and she needed something to wake her up from this funky dream she seemed to be having.
Drying off and slipping on her robe to go back to her room, her mother caught her in the hallway and took hold of her hand. “Tadi, sweetheart, the Lord spoke to me while you were gone. He told me that you were troubled and that I should try to share the Gospel with my child while I still have the chance. Why don’t you advance into the living room so we can talk? ” “No, thanks, mom,” she said, level-headed feeling a twinge of guilt for denying her mother some quality time since they hardly spoke anymore. The deeper and deeper her mother’s religious fanaticism went, the further and further they drifted apart. She slipped into the room as her mother pled with her to come attend out, but she closed the door and plopped down on the bed. She felt dizzy and laid her head back on the mattress, still replaying the stranger’s words. What kind of danger was Jonas in? What kind of danger was she in? She had a fleeting thought of calling Detective Shepherd, but he just might lock her ass up in a loony bin if she told him what had just happened to her down the street from her house. Desperate for some kind of explanation, she reached for her laptop and pulled up a browser page. What did she say I came in contact with? My ‘webster? ‘ My…she couldn’t assume of it. Then it finally came—”webber.” Typing it in for an internet search suddenly made her feel like an idiot. She closed the page and started at the screen for a second. “What the fuck,” she said out loud, feeling like she was losing it. Why would she even entertain this curious shit? Just as she was about to open up another page and check her online profile on the friend-finder website she was almost addicted to, she heard a rumble. It only lasted for a second so she figured it was just somebody in the apartment upstairs moving furniture or something. With her next click, the rumble happened again—only this time it was louder. She stood up and put the laptop on the bed, walking to her bedroom door on her way to confirm with her mom that she felt it too and if she knew if someone was moving in or out today. Before she could touch the doorknob, the rumble returned and the floor started to quake. She braced herself, hoping it would stop, but it continued and the rumbling got louder and louder as if something huge and destructive was barreling closer and closer to her-it sounded like somebody was steamrolling through her hallway. She tried to stand firmly on the floor and finally reached the doorknob, but she couldn’t open the door. She didn’t HAVE a lock on her door but it wouldn’t budge. “MOM!” she screamed, hoping that somehow her voice would carry over the thunderous noise. “MOM!” She tried again, furiously twisting at the knob but it only got hotter with the friction of her palm. Never having experienced or much less heard of an earthquake in New York in her entire life, Tadi was stupefied now that something really was going on that she couldn’t explain away. And as soon as she came to that realization, the world returned to normal. The quake stopped. Breathing like she’d just run a 20-mile marathon, Tadi cautiously reached for the doorknob again and, like it always had, it opened with no problem at all. Just as she was about to shut it again, her mom’s head poked out into the hallway from her favorite spot in the apartment.
“Honey, did you call me? I was out on the balcony. I belief I heard you.”
“No, mom. It must have been the TV.”
“Well, honey, why are you breathing like that? Are you having another panic attack? ” Tadi shouted no and slammed the door. She withered onto the edge of her bed. She hadn’t cried in months but she couldn’t beget them back. As they fell, she thought of that damned key again. She reached into the bag where she’d stuffed it and it was still there. She hadn’t imagined that. She was now losing her fucking mind and imagining earthquakes. What the hell is happening?
With a renewed curiosity, she pulled the laptop to her again and typed in webber again to search for whatever the internet gods had to offer. The only things that came up were websites about webbed-footed animals and humans and high school football coaches. Frustrated and exhausted, she tossed the laptop on the floor by the bed and drifted off into unconsciousness on top of the covers. “He’s in a very, very dark place, Tadi.”
She looked around, sitting on the deck of a yacht. Tadi was dreaming but she heard a newly familiarized bellow. Turning to see where it was coming from, she recognized the senior citizen from 56th street. “Why are you in my dream? ” she asked, her long, lavender satin dress cascading down the wooden planks as she stood at the bow. “It’s the only draw, now. I’ve given you the key so I cannot reach you while you’re awake,” the woman said. She was wearing something equally drab as her pea coat. This time, it looked like she was wearing a burlap sack and her feet seemed to meld into the wood of the deck. Tadi couldn’t see her feet. Her hair flowed with the wind careening about them, looking like a white satin sheet in the diminutive light of dusk settling. “What am I doing on this boat? “
“It’s a distraction. The boat, the dress, the earthquake,” she said as if she’d been legal there in Tadi’s room with her when the strangest thing she’d ever experienced in her life took site. “How’d you know about—”
“It’s to shake you up-for lack of a better term. Your webber has been thrown into the uneven plane. You’re not protected as long as she’s there. You’ll have to exhaust the key—to free her.” Tadi sauntered over to the woman, realizing her dream build her in high heels. She NEVER wore high heels. “PLEASE, lady-make this make sense. You’re talking like somebody on the sci-fi channel or something. I just wanna know what you know about Jonas—and why I had an earthquake in my fucking room last night that apparently no one else felt but ME!” The little lady paused before she answered. “Your webber has been with you all your life-since you were conceived. She protects you from the other ones-the outcasts-who only exist to destroy the ones like you. She was trying to warn you—the night she was attacked.” Tadi, wishing she could wake up, realized she had no control over it. This WAS really happening.
“Ones like me?? What does THAT mean? ”
“You, Tadi, are one of the last of us—your bearer is not the woman who lives with you that you know as your mother…” Tadi gulped, fully engaged but awaiting the woman’s next words. “You were born in a time between what you know as reality and our world. You were conceived as a light that would finally destroy the outcasts and their Creator but somehow there was a traitor—your friend Jonas’ bearer somehow crossed over and gave you to a human and sent Jonas to be your protector. You were to be hidden until we could come for you. But now that Jonas’ bearer has been caught and—murdered, he is being held captive as, well, a lure. They’re waiting for you so that they can…well, I consider you know.” Tadi realized that her dream had placed a glass of champagne in her hand. She took a sip of it hoping like hell she might feel some kind of buzz. “I—I don’t know what to—”
“It will all make sense soon-but one thing is obvious. You mustn’t try to find Jonas. Let him accept you.”
The knocking on the door woke her and objective before she was fully conscious, she realized she still had no clue what to do with that fucking key. “Tadi, there’s someone here to see you, honey!” Her mom was banging on her door. She looked over at the clock. It was almost 7:30 pm. It felt to her like the day would NEVER end. She went to commence the door and, since her door was just opposite the several feet of hallway to the front door to their apartment, she could see the wait on half of a man standing partially in her mother’s den of praise. Her mother-who wasn’t her mother according to her dream. This is insane, she conception, still trying to chalk it all up to nonsense. It seemed like the hallway was longer than it had ever been. She heard her mother chatting away with whoever this guest was, talking about her makeshift garden on the balcony and how she managed to keep them alive in all this rain we’d been having. When Tadi got closer, she waited for her mother to realize she had arrived. She didn’t announce her presence.
“Honey, this gentleman says he knows your friend, Jonas.” Tadi instantaneously heard ‘Jonas’ and swallowed the biggest lump ever in her throat. The man turned, dressed head to toe in black and was wearing a pair of black, completely opaque sunglasses—inside. She feared she knew exactly why he was covering his eyes. His olive skin made his teeth look as white as sugar when he smiled at her.
“Hello, Tadi, is it? ” She tried to shroud her swiftly breathing and the nervous perspiration from her mother who was back on the balcony AGAIN. “Yeah,” she answered, trying to keep her distance and trying to resist the urge to break into a sprint back to her room. “Well, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” was all he said, not prompting any further conversation. “What—can I help you with? ” Tadi asked through clenched teeth, eyeing her mother’s movements to build sure she wasn’t seeing their interaction. The man’s smile was as wide as it was when he first turned around. It was if he was one of those wind-up toys and someone had wound him up until the spring popped. He spoke through unnaturally white teeth. “I believe someone gave you something yesterday-something that has changed your life significantly.” Tadi just looked up at his sunglasses, imagining where his eyes may be cast behind them. “I’d like you to turn around, walk down the hallway and derive it for me so I can be on my way.” Tadi, new to all this otherworldly shit, didn’t take reliable to being told what to do. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.” He looked at Tadi’s mother who was coming back in from the balcony now and then back at Tadi. “She wouldn’t know the inequity if she just suddenly turned into a pile of dust, would she? ” Tadi glanced over at the woman she knew as her mother who was humming and smiling in their direction as if he was her teacher discussing good grades with her. “I SAID, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tadi reiterated her uncooperative attitude. “Where’s Jonas? ” she asked, feeling cocky and as though she had the upper hand because this new stranger hadn’t done anything to back up his threat—yet. Then, in a matter of an instant, he took one step toward Tadi and opened his palm, bending the inside of his wrist toward her and fingers pointed toward the floor. When she realized his fake-ass smile was gone, she felt an excruciating pain in her stomach and doubled over, falling to the floor coughing. While she was huddled in a ball reach his feet, he said coldly, “You won’t live to inspect Jonas again. And he’ll pay doubly for his bearer’s crime.” And, like the shrimp old lady, he pulled a Houdini and was gone. Tadi’s mom was totally oblivious to the man disappearing and to her daughter writhing on the floor. Tadi tried to stand up, using the wall for help and hoping her mom didn’t hear her struggling.
She was almost back to her room when she heard, “Honey, where did your friend go? I didn’t even hear the door!” Tadi went into her room, which didn’t feel as safe as it once felt, and closed out the world that didn’t execute any fucking sense to her anymore. She just wanted everything to be normal again. Then, as if something had popped in her brain, the man that had just given her the worst stomach ache of her life looked strangely familiar-like the man that had knocked the shit out of her that night she saw Shiva-or Sheba. He must be the one who tried to kill her—webber. “Fuck, I’m REALLY CooCoo for Cocoa Puffs,” she said under her breath. Then she coughed again—and had blood on her hand.
Her cell phone woke her up. She didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep. Having no idea what time of day or night it was, Tadi sat up. Her stomach didn’t hurt anymore and it was level-headed raining outside. The phone was still ringing after those few seconds of her awareness returning and she looked at the caller ID. It was another unknown number. She opened the flip and slowly put it to her ear, not saying anything. “Ms. Bingham? ” It was Detective Shepherd. “Yeah—” she said with a scratchy shriek. Her mouth was dry like she’d been in a desert for 40 days. “I’ve been trying to find in touch with you since Tuesday. Is everything okay? ” Tadi opened up her laptop to see the calendar—it was Wednesday. She’d been asleep for more than 24 hours. “Uh, yeah-I mean, no. No, I’m not feeling too well.”
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Behold, the woman from the other night-Shiva-well, I’ve just been notified by the hospital that she’s slipped into a coma. They don’t interrogate her to make it through the night. I NEED to know if there’s ANYTHING you haven’t told us. Anything at all.” Tadi was silent. She damn sure couldn’t tell him what had been happening to her. “As you may know, if that woman dies, this could turn into a homicide investigation.” She didn’t realize she hadn’t said anything until he spoke again and startled her. “Ms. Bingham? Are you still there? ” “Yeah, yeah-I’m here. Look, I told you everything.” He sighed heavily into the phone like a kid who didn’t collect what he desperately wanted for Christmas. “All right-well, you have my number. If ANYTHING, I mean anything comes to mind, give me a call.” Tadi hung up and looked at her call history again. She had completely forgotten that she missed a call from Troy but she definitely wasn’t in a frame of mind to call him back now. There was something else-she had a string of about 15 entries with no phone number—all within 5 minutes. Not even surprised by yet another unexplainable event, she got up to go to the kitchen to get some water. She heard the television in the other room, but didn’t hear her mother. Walking to the living room with her glass in one hand, she stood in the doorway but didn’t see her. Her mother’s glasses were laying on the sofa where she always put them when she took a nap there, but she was nowhere to be found. “Mom? ” she called out to no answer. Tadi walked to the midpoint of the hallway to the door to her mother’s room. It was closed. Her mother NEVER closed her door. She reached for the doorknob to turn it, but her cell phone rang again. She almost continued into the room, but decided to go to the phone instead. Not looking at the caller ID window first, she answered. “Your mother’s not in her room,” the voice said. It was the man who’d been in her house before and threatened them and the same man who’d tried to kill the woman on Hamilton Ave. “What do you WANT? ” Tadi asked on the verge of tears. “I told you what I want. And if you want to see her again, you’ll need to give me what I want.” She was quiet holding the glass but it was starting to tremble in her unsteady hand. “HOW? How can I give it to you? ” The man chuckled maniacally. “It’s not that simple, girl. You think you’re a human and things are that simple,” he said mockingly. “It requires a sacrifice. That blind, faded hag must have left that part out. We know she’s been visiting you.” Tadi felt her stomach getting upset. “I don’t know what you want me to sacrifice. A goat? What the hell is supposed to be sacrificed, you son of a bitch!? ” Suddenly, Tadi heard a sound that made her eyeballs ache. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard—through a megaphone. When he spoke again, his tone was slower and more frightening. “Go—to your bathroom and look in the reflective glass. Then—you’ll see.” He hung up. Tadi couldn’t drink anymore water. She got up, walked out of her room. She glanced at her mother’s closed bedroom door. Her eyes filled with tears again. She was vexed of what she’d see in the mirror—if it would trigger another earthquake or more physical pain. She stood in front of the mirror and peered at her reflection, waiting. Nothing happened.
Then, when she realized that she’d completely overlooked something, she burst into tears and collapsed onto the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. She knew what he expected her to sacrifice—herself.
She managed to effect it into the living room to turn off the fucking TV—she’d heard about all the crooning televangelists she could handle. She went back to her room to get out of the robe and get dressed. Once again, she didn’t know where she was going, but she had to pick up out of the apartment. Jonas was in danger—whoever the hell he was—apparently her protector all this time and she had no idea. She had no way of helping him-she didn’t even know what was happening or what to demand to happen. Grabbing her bag and leaving her phone unhurried since she assumed she wouldn’t need it where she was going, she left the building toward Geter’s Grocery. She was hoping the woman she’d met there before might show up again and help her with some kind of clue or, better yet, some kind of good news. She would LOVE to have some fucking good news at this point—perhaps that this was all some drug-induced fantasy she was dreaming about and couldn’t wake up from. Halfway to the corner, she could see a familiar form in the distance. It was the man, the outcast, who’d been in her apartment earlier and given her instructions to off herself. He was just walking along the sidewalk, talking on a cell phone, waving his arms about wildly like he was having a very colorful conversation with whoever was on the other extinguish. She turned to go the other way, hoping he didn’t notice her. When she got to the next corner, she realized where she needed to go. Paulding General.
๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛ ๛
“I need to see a patient who was brought in Sunday night,” Tadi inquired at the front desk. The heavy-set woman didn’t even look up at her. She continued writing on a white form. “Are you family? ” she asked robotically as if she was asking this same quiz for the millionth and 1st time and was expecting Tadi to say no. “Yes, I am.”
The woman, still not looking up, reached over and grabbed a stack of papers, fanned through them and slapped one onto the counter top between she and Tadi. “Fill this out, please. Bring it back up with your driver’s license, social security card, passport or resident alien card.” Tadi took the paper and walked away from the counter. She decided to try to find Shiva on her own. She’s in a coma, she thought. She must be in the intensive care unit. She followed the signs printed overhead, careful not to let any hospital staff advance that front desk see her making her way into a restricted area. Weaving through the maze of the hospital hallways, she finally made it to the double-door entrance of the ICU. She waited for a man in scrubs to come out and then scurried inside while the doors were still open. She looked on each door panel to see if they’d posted names of each patient. There weren’t names, but numbers. They’re all expected to die, she conception. Their names don’t even matter anymore. She tiptoed through the ward, peering into as many windows as she could. Some lights were off inside the rooms, making it impossible to see in. “Um, what are you doing? ” Tadi almost lost bladder control. “Uh, I’m looking for—”
“You’re not supposed to be in here. This is a totally restricted place.” The reprimand was coming from the same nurse she’s snuck in slack. “I’m sorry—I unprejudiced, I need to see my…aunt.” He was reaching for a phone, most likely to call security. Tadi tried again to persuade him. “Wait! Wait, please. I just want to see her-she’s been all alone and they wouldn’t let me through since she’s not really my aunt…well, by marriage. I just want to ogle her one more time. Her name’s Shiva.” He was about to dial something, but he must have known the name. She obviously pulled at one or two of his heartstrings. “Shiva? The woman that hasn’t had any visitors,” he said, now proudly sporting his heart on his sleeve. “Come on, then.” He led the way toward another secluded hallway with dimmer lights. The very last room in the curved entryway was one of those rooms with the lights off. He walked in, slid the dimmer up to allow a exiguous amount of light from the bulbs. He checked the monitors and IV bags before he said, “She won’t know you’re here, so please don’t talk loud enough to wake any other patients.” Then on his way out, he turned back to add, “Just compose it quick. I would like to keep my job.” Tadi, grateful not to be in handcuffs, walked over to the gurney. The beeping sound of her heartbeat sounded like a squawk crash with each pulse She was completely still, her face still as pale as it was that night they had their first encounter. Tadi walked right up to the bed and stood at her left side.
“Sh-Shiva? ” she whispered. To her amazement, the woman’s head turned in Tadi’s direction. Her eyes opened slightly—it was if she’d been waiting for Tadi to come. She had tube down her throat and Tadi assumed after a few seconds of eye gestures that Shiva wanted her to pull it out so she could relate. Not as disgusted as she belief she’d be, Tadi rested the tube on Shiva’s chest once it was out. “Did you know I would come? “
“Yes,” the woman said, struggling to smile and speak. “And I’m glad that you did—even though it was very foolish of you.” Tadi looked toward the door to accomplish certain they weren’t going to be interrupted suitable away. “Can they find me here? ” Shiva’s smile faded. “They can find you anywhere, Tadi. You’re going to have to consume the key.” Once again, another person talking about using the damned key but not telling her how to use it. Then Shiva spoke-like she’d read Tadi’s mind the same way the old woman had. “The key is not like any other key that you know-it does not Inaugurate a door. It IS a door.” Tadi turned and sat on the edge of the bed next to Shiva. “And it’s Szheed-Va. That’s the name your bearer gave me when I was given the task of watching over you. Unfortunately, I haven’t done a very proper job of that.” She closed her eyes tight as if she were waiting for a wave of pain to pass. “This is what he did to you—” she said when she opened her eyes again. “He wanted you to feel my pain-in your stomach,” she looked downward toward the lower half of my body. “How did you—” Tadi asked, detached baffled by each demonstration of unspoken knowledge. “He wanted you to know the pain I felt and to be afraid. He wanted to scare you into giving him the key. The key is the arrangement for him to get back into the other realm. He’s been trapped here since Jonas’ bearer sent him here—to protect you. He was being mischievous and was connected by mistake—so he decided to continue to efforts of the outcasts here in this realm and has been hunting Jonas—and you—ever since.”
“My entire life,” Tadi chimed in. “Yes,” she squinted through another painful episode, breathing out heavy once it had passed. “He was stalking Jonas the night we met on the street—when you left the apartment, to go home, he took Jonas and was on his blueprint to—you. That’s when I could his vibration. I was trying to get to you first.”
“Why now? How did he find us now after all these years? ” Tadi asked, finally at a point of acceptance.
“It was you. Your anger and resentment had gotten so great over the years that it made it obvious that you were losing the light you were created to be. He—”
“He?? Why doesn’t he have a name? “
“Outcasts have no names. Only a presence. When they pass on to an eternal realm, they’re forgotten. This one wants to destroy you and our world because he hates what he was created to be. He wants to be—human…so he’ll have no responsibility or desire to hunt the Light or webbers. And if he destroys you, there will be no more light and no need for webbers. I would die, too.” Tadi buried her face in her hands.
“This is CRAZY,” she said, then looked back at Szheed-va. “So you’re saying I brought this all on myself? And now I have to kill myself to collect him to stop? ” Szheed-va’s expression changed. She held her head up as high as she could. “Did you talk TO him directly? ” She looked like she’d seen a thousand ghosts having a tea party. “Yeah-he called my cell phone. AND he came to my house. He’s done something with my mother.” Szheed-va laid her head back down, heaving and sighing like something was seriously execrable. “He’s got an open channel, now.”
“What? What kind of channel? ” Tadi asked, confused. “To everything and everyone in your life here,” she said. “Your mother, Jonas, anyone you’ve ever spoken to—including ME.” Tadi stood up, pacing. “So how do I finish him? Am I really supposed to kill myself? ” she asked, letting a little bit of laughter elope. Szheed-va’s tone was not jovial whens he spoke. “Yes.” She started to remove IV in her arm and strained to sit up in the bed. “Wait, did you just agree with me? And where are you going? What are you doing? ” She swung her legs over the edge of the bed. “We need to leave this place right now. He knows we’re here.” Szheed-va put an arm around my shoulder, obviously too weak to lope the same distance I’d walked to get to her room. “Are you sure you’re okay to leave? ” Tadi asked, trying to whisper but not doing a very good job of it. “My vow is to protect you,” grunting, “as long as I have breath.” Tadi came upon a vacant wheelchair and helped Szheed-va into it. As she wheeled her through the ward, she was trying to prepare herself to speed when the need presented itself. She was trying to proceed as quickly as possible past the nurse who’d helped her. He looked in their direction and did a double-take as he saw Szheed-va alert and waving at him—so grand for someone who wouldn’t hear a word Tadi said. He was still awe-struck when they made their way out of the ward and down the main hallway. Tadi grabbed a plot of sheets off of one of the gurneys they passed and helped to cover Szheed-va’s legs. Amazingly, they made it outside without being spotted…or so she thought. Looking up, they both laid eyes on the outcast at the exact same moment. He hadn’t seen them yet, so Tadi gripped the handles of the wheelchair as tightly as she possibly could and started walking through the parking lot, trying to be careful not to arouse any suspicion by running. It was of no expend. He saw them. “He’s coming!” Tadi said, trying with all her might not to shout. “Do you have the—key, Tadi? ” Szheed-va’s words were choppy. She must have been in terrible distress. “Yeah, I have it,” she replied, trying to steer the chair one-handed and reach into her bag for the key. “What do you want me to do with it?? ” Tadi could feel his presence on the back of her neck, but turned and didn’t see him.
“He’s coming—that’s why you can feel him,” she confirmed. They stopped at the edge of the raised parking lot—nothing over the side of the guard rail but 30 feet to more asphalt. “Give me the key,” Szheed-va commanded. “What? But I thought I was supposed to do something with it? ” Tadi asked, confused again, just when she conception everything was starting to produce sense and was trying to reach to grips with what was going on. “That’s what he wanted you to think. I need to swallow the key.” She took the key into her veteran hand and turned it over a few times. “I don’t understand, Szheed-va.” Tadi looked all around for signs of the outcast but didn’t see—or feel—anything. “He knew that if you swallowed the key, you would close all portals to our realm and no one would ever be able to come or go ever again. He’d be free to assimilate as a human. You’d no longer be a Lighter if you sabotaged our entire existence and I—would die.” Tadi looked down at her, tranquil seemingly contemplating what she was about to do. “And if I swallow the key, it would reopen the portal he came through and send him back. Jonas would be freed, your mother would be back in her garden again, and you could live your life as you know it.” Tadi felt a sense of overwhelming sadness. She looked into Szheed-va’s eyes. She knew what else it meant. “Yes, and I would be destroyed.” Tadi grabbed the hand that Szheed-va held the key in. “You don’t have to—I have a shitty life-I have ONE friend who was ONLY my friend because he was forced to be, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. You’d only be saving someone who has NO value, whatsoever.” Szheed-va stood up, somehow her strength and health restored. “This, is why I need to do this,” she said, walking over and giving Tadi a hug. “Your light is coming back,” she said as she held Tadi tight for several seconds. “You won’t need me anymore after this. You objective need to remember to be valid to yourself—and everyone else around you.” Tadi wiped tears from both cheeks as she looked at this nurturing woman who seemed to be every bit of the protector she said she had been. “Jonas won’t ever admit to being your protector—because he’ll have no recollection of it at all. Your mother will never know she was abducted or that anything is out of the ordinary. And Detective Shepherd…” Tadi perked up for this one. “…will be onto a different lead for the suspect. My physical body will die in the ICU in Paulding General. They’ll all forget about me and it’ll be a icy case. And you’ll need to go on with your life.”
Then Szheed-va stepped back toward the guard rail, pushed the wheelchair aside and unbiased as she put the key to her lips, he appeared. She shoved it into her mouth and tilted her head back, letting gravity pull her weight over the ledge. There was that damned nails-on-a-chalkboard sound again as he leaned over after her as if he was trying to catch her. When he realized he’d lost her, his body did a lightning-fast 180 degree turn and he lunged at Tadi, but before she could actually cower and fold, he disintegrated into dust. “Ha!” she cackled. “YOUR ass got turned into dust!” Tadi drew her leg back and gave the rather gargantuan pile of dense, dingy gray dust a swift kick. It scattered sparingly and the wind carried most of it away in various directions. She walked to the guard rail to look over the ledge and eased her gaze over the edge, not wanting to devastate herself with inconvenience by what she might see below. To her amazement, there was no bloody, gory mess of Szheed-va. Instead, there was a pile of light brown sand. Tadi walked down the ramp and around to were the pile lay. She knelt down and sifted through it with her fingertips and felt something. When she pulled it out, it was a key, but it wasn’t the same key. Instead of a rusty, old corroded finish, this one was a spectacular shiny brass that sparkled in the sunlight. That’s when Tadi finally noticed that it wasn’t raining anymore.
She walked the 30 blocks from the hospital to Jonas’ apartment building, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and enjoying the sun gleaming.
Riding up the elevator seemed to take longer than ever. She still had the key in her hand, but she quickly jammed it into the back pocket of her jeans. When she got to the door, she noticed the cracked plastic that had once been his broken buzzer had been replaced with a recent panel and when she depressed it, it actually rang! She could hear Minx mewing and then she heard—footsteps. “Where the fuck have you been? ” he sneered as he opened the door. She couldn’t resist the need to hug him. She threw her arms around his tiny little pencil body and began crying and laughing at the same time. “Have you lost your mind? Why are you hugging me like this? ” Tadi stepped back and looked up at his thoroughly bewildered expression. “Just glad to see you, you nitwit.” He stepped aside and invited her in. “I ordered pizza for dinner. The fuckers at Vintage finally gave me a raise. No more noodles—at least for a while.” She laughed with her friend and asked to borrow Jonas’ phone. “That’s why I wasn’t answering. I left my phone in my room.” He crashed into the futon, a slice of dripping pizza pie in his hand. “Where the hell have you been that you didn’t need your phone? I thought that thing had melded to the side of your head,” he joked. Tadi dialed her mother’s phone number. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, Jo,” she said and when her mom answered, she told her where she was and that she’d be home in a few hours so they could sit and talk for a miniature while.
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